No More
by Quickfire
Summary: After the final battle, Buffy deals with her inadequacies as a friend.


**Subject:** The final battle with Doc.  
**Spoilers:** None - this was just an idea since the Glory story arc wasn't resolved exactly how I thought it would be, and I wondered what had happened to Doc.  
**Timeline:** Sometime during season six.  
**Comments:** Character death involved. Feedback is muchly appreciated! **Disclaimer:** Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel and associated characters belong to 20th Century Fox and Joss Whedon. No infringement is intended. 

*** 

Have you ever dreamt you were covered in blood? I have - only I wasn't dreaming. Well, not the first time. 

The liquid clings to my skin, even now, even after a hundred washings. I can still feel the way it splashed across my face, mingled with my own. Clouded my vision, pervaded my nose, filled my mouth. It was sweet - so sweet, it was overpowering. 

My hands were sticky with it. As I was thrown to the ground, dirt clung to me. I tried to rid my mouth of it, to no avail. I forced myself to my feet -- I had to keep fighting. Not only did I have to dodge blows, I had to keep myself away from the wooden scaffold. The six of us had been surrounded, purposefully kept away from the scaffold - except for me. 

Willow lay motionless to my right. Tara knelt beside her, her hands waving in the air -- casting a spell of protection. Xander was swinging his axe, laying vampire after vampire to waste, alongside Spike. Anya -- I didn't know where she was. Me -- I was trying to avoid looking up -- at the source of the blood flow. But without looking, I knew what I would see. I would always see it in my nightmares. It-it was horrible. The fight -- it was just for show. I'd already given up, but Xander, Tara, Spike -- they hadn't, so I fought for them, and ignored Dawn's blood as it washed over me. 

I watched, helplessly, as Doc hung my sister, and cut her open. First, he reopened the cut she made on my birthday last year, then, he sliced her torso, mimicking the cuts he made so long ago, when the different dimensions of hell almost claimed our own. Her eyes pleaded with me to do something, but I couldn't get to her in time. Before she could cry out, silver flashed across her neck, followed by a steady gush of her blood. She died in agony, screaming. 

Dawn. We thought we were safe, out of the woods. Glory and her minions were gone -- Giles had suffocated Ben, killing both him and Glory, I'd shoved Doc to his death before leaping to mine -- or so I had thought. Dawn couldn't be used as the Key anymore - the time had past. But Doc had old scores to settle. Now, Dawn was dead, and he was raining down blows on me. I could only manage to deflect part of the blows. If this didn't end soon, I'd be dead. But what would it matter? 

I was gaining the upper hand, I had Doc cornered when -- he smiled at me. Then - he reached behind him, into a crate and pulled out -- a hammer. I froze -- that was the hammer I used on Glory. The shock of seeing that weapon - the last weapon I used before my death - cost me. Before I could move, the hammer hit me. I went down -- hard -- and fought the blackness that threatened to swallow me whole. But I couldn't fight it -- I was losing and Doc had the hammer raised above his head ready to finish me but then -- Xander. He attacked Doc from behind. 

Doc swung the hammer at Xander and he just managed to avoid it. He got a couple of axe blows in before Doc landed a solid blow across Xander's chest and he flew backwards, into the wooden scaffold. I-I… I forced myself to my feet. I had no weapon, but I had to find one. There - -Xander's axe. While Doc's back was turned, I crept up behind him -- I wasn't that quiet, but Doc was so intent on Xander he didn't hear me. Though my muscles ached, I hoisted the axe, aimed and swung. It made a satisfying 'thunk' as it cleaved Doc's head from his neck. Even before his body hit the ground, I was kneeling beside Xander. 

"Xander. Xander! Answer me!" His eyes were glazing over. 

"B-Buffy." A slow smile spread across his face. "What a fight, huh?" 

He always joked about how he had survived so long and how eventually his number would be up -- it looked like it now. 

"Buffy, don't look at me that way…I knew what I was up against. So did you." 

"Xander - you - I-I-I've always -- you know that." Why couldn't I speak? Carefully, deliberately, he looked at me. 

"I know Buff-" He took one last breath, then no more. 

The field was so quiet. But then, I heard harsh, racking sobs. It was me. The tears streamed down my face, washing away the blood. I lay my head on Xander's now cold form, and cried. For myself. For Anya. For Xander, but mainly, for Dawn. I was supposed to protect her, but I had let this happen. If I had only done something differently, not left her in the house alone when I knew something big was in town. If I had only known it was Doc, I could have stayed with her, prevented her capture. 

Willow lay where she had fallen, protecting Tara. I knew she wouldn't get up again -- not ever. She was gone. Tara was just staring at the bo-Willow. Spike was beside her, his arm around her shoulder. His face was beaten beyond recognition, and his shirt was torn to shreds. I could tell that he was in pain, but he stayed with Tara. I could hear Anya sobbing as she saw Xander's prostrate form. I thought she was going to collapse on his chest, but instead, she took a hold of my shoulders and lifted me to her, and she held me. We cried together. 

"Buffy." Spike was behind me. His voice startled me out of my embrace with Anya. I stared into his face. I had lost the ability to talk. All I could do was look at him, as the tears continued to stream down my face. Gently, he led Anya and me to a tree, where Tara was sitting. 

"Now you girls stay here. I have some business to take care of." 

Business to take care of? Now? That insufferable, insensitive son of a bi-Why couldn't he have died protecting me? The one time that he should have been behind my back, shadowing me, and he wasn't even there. Anger rose into my throat, and as adrenaline rushed through my system, the pain lessened. I searched for a piece of wood -- anything would do right now, even if it was blunt. With enough force, it would still puncture Spike's heart. I was going to do what I should have done long ago -- kill Spike. 

I approached him stealthily from behind. He wasn't even going to know what hit him. I tried to avert my eyes from the wooden scaffold, but I couldn't help myself. I had to see Dawn. But she wasn't there. Willow wasn't lying in the dust anymore. And Xander…Xander was gone too. But Doc's body still lay where it had fallen when I decapitated him. I heard a rustling off near the back of the scaffolding. Prepared to fight, I walked around to the back, and found Xander and Willow, lying on the ground. Their eyes were closed. If it weren't for all the blood, I would have thought they were sleeping. And Dawn. The noose was no longer around her throat, and her eyes were closed. Suddenly, I knew what Spike's business was. He was cleaning up the bodies of my friends and sister so that I wouldn't have to. The stake slipped from my hand, and landed in the grass. 

The grass smelled so wet, so new. Off in the horizon, I could see the sun begin to rise. The world was starting all over again -- giving everyone a second chance. But there would be no second chances for us. Xander, Willow and Dawn would see the sun rise no more. And I would dream of blood -- blood that screamed to me of my inadequacies -- as a friend. 


End file.
